My 20 December Blog, “The Photographs” was set in the mid 1940’s. From then we now teleport through time to the more or less now, the Future from then. The setting is the same. (If you did not read that December Post please do so now before reading further. The December Post is real in every detail the best that I can remember it.)
Please keep in mind that this Post is pure fantasy, and is not meant to reflect on any one, organization, or government. After all, who could believe such a story anyway?
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There is a knock on the front door. My grandfather goes to the door, opens it, and sees a man, a stranger, dressed rather like the old–time travelling salesman.
“Yes?” my grandfather says.
The fellow replies “I am Joe Smith, from the Department of Health. We have to inspect every home and business to make sure everyone lives and works in a healthy environment.” He offers a very official looking photo ID for inspection, as though anyone would know what is fake or real.
“Oh?” my grandfather says.
“Yes. The Federal Government instituted new regulations which every state must follow, or important state programs will not be funded. You know, vaccinations, water fluoridation, and all those other great health measures.”
“Uh, what do you want to know?”
“First of all, I see you have an outhouse over the creek out beside the house. That is not permitted because it pollutes the river. There is a fine for that of $1000 a week. You have three days to comply.”
“I have a question for you, then. Because that little river down the hill is black and polluted from washing coal upstream, how much fine do they pay?”
“Oh, they do not have to pay a fine, as they pay $100 a year for the permit.”
“Oh.”
“Furthermore, I see that your water supply is from a natural spring. That is not permitted unless you properly process the water and chlorinate it to make sure it is pure and safe to drink. Failure to do so will cost you another $1000 per week fine for non-compliance with the regulations. Again, you have three days to comply.”
“I see”, said my grandfather in such a manner that even at my few years of age I could tell he was doing some quick thinking.
“Is that a COW I see up on the hill?”, asks Joe.
“Everybody around these parts recognize cows” was granddaddy’s reply. “And, yes, we do drink the milk the way Mother Nature intended, raw. Also, the cow only gets a natural food diet, grain I myself grow and grazing on the organic hillside above here and has never been vaccinated. Ain’t nobody ever got sick, either, from the milk, butter, cream, or the water.”
“Well, that is a blatant violation of the law. Unless that is changed immediately the FDA [Fraudulent Directives Administration] will send out their SWAT Team and close this place down and throw you into jail, place the kids into a safe foster home, and demolish this unsafe house.”
“Hummm”, my grandfather mutters as he calmly walks over to the side wall of the living room where his double-barrel 12 gauge resides.
As he reaches for it Joe notices and says, “Do you have a permit for that gun? I see there is no trigger lock. Those violations can put you into jail for 6 months each!”
Granddaddy calmly reaches into a drawer and pulls out two of those 12 gauge shells, and began slowly inserting them into the gun, of course being careful not to point it at anyone.
Joe got very excited at that and said, in an increasingly shaky voice, “W… wh… what are you d. d. doing?”
Grandfather said very calmly and deliberately, “I am helping you write your report about your visit here. What is it going to say?”
Joe was no dummy at this point so he said, in his still shaky voice, “Inspection showed no violations, and further inspections will not be needed.”
Granddaddy said, “Good boy. Now leave here and go find yourself a real job.”
“Yes, YES SIR, and thank you for being so understanding.”
Then Granddaddy said to me, “ I remember those Photographs, too.”